What a crazy, stupid year

What a crazy, stupid year so far. On March 3 I took hubby to the VA because he was having coughing/choking problems. We found out he had stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer. We spent 3 1/2 months in the hospital and then 12 days at home before he passed. Life is all a big jumble right now. Half the time I don't know if I am coming or going. I hate that I am now a widow, having lost the other half of me.

I'm trying to keep busy and not cry all the time. For the most part during the day I do ok but the nights are when the tears come. I do not know when or if I will ever feel normal again.

Several nights ago I wrote a little poem. It came to me while I was in bed trying to sleep. I thought I'd better write it down. Here it is:

The Tears Find Their Way

In the still of the night
At the end of the day
That's when the tears
Finally find their way

The ones you held back
All day long
While you were still
Trying to be strong

But there's a big empty space
Where a life used to be
And it's been like that
Since you were taken from me

So each night they come
Before I can sleep
As I mourn the loss
Of our love so deep

I know one day
I will feel okay
But for now each night
The tears find their way

Written by Diana Davis 7-5-2016